Becoming a mother

Becoming a mother has really changed me. I do not know if it was the struggle, the loss, the journey, or a combination of all - but becoming a mother has been the one gift in my life that has completely changed me.

It has made me believe in Miracles despite all the odds. It has restored my faith in God - and taught me that he really will watch over you. It brought me close to so many people that I never knew - who suffer the same problems. Its taught me how much joy can lay at the end of a painful journey.

Becoming a mother has opened my heart and my mind to the injustices of the world. My journey took me on a road where I watched mothers lose babies after taking a decade to concieve them. My path allowed me to see women yearning for a child, taking shots and treatments, hoping this month will be the month. Its allowed me to witness miscarriages - and to know a similar pain through my own Vanishing Twin Miscarriage.

I carried Zoey along with another twin who did not make it. Baby B miscarried at close to 12 weeks. Uncertainty was always known with baby b, as it was always behind. However, for the breif period of time after we finally saw the heartbeat, we thought we really might be the parents of twins. Baby B never vanished, and I always saw that reminder of the baby who just didn't make it.

I will forever be thankful for Zoey - she is my Miracle. Despite everything that I had to face -she is perfect. If I had to do it all again - I would.

I will never forget Baby B, it was a part of me. I will never get over it. It is in my foundation. I will never get past it - just grow from it. I will never forget my journey either, I will simply share my experience with the world - and hope that I can give a little of the strength and hope that was given to me.