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Becoming a mother

Becoming a mother has really changed me. I do not know if it was the struggle, the loss, the journey, or a combination of all - but becoming a mother has been the one gift in my life that has completely changed me.

It has made me believe in Miracles despite all the odds. It has restored my faith in God - and taught me that he really will watch over you. It brought me close to so many people that I never knew - who suffer the same problems. Its taught me how much joy can lay at the end of a painful journey.

Becoming a mother has opened my heart and my mind to the injustices of the world. My journey took me on a road where I watched mothers lose babies after taking a decade to concieve them. My path allowed me to see women yearning for a child, taking shots and treatments, hoping this month will be the month. Its allowed me to witness miscarriages - and to know a similar pain through my own Vanishing Twin Miscarriage.

I carried Zoey along with another twin who did not make it. Baby B miscarried at close to 12 weeks. Uncertainty was always known with baby b, as it was always behind. However, for the breif period of time after we finally saw the heartbeat, we thought we really might be the parents of twins. Baby B never vanished, and I always saw that reminder of the baby who just didn't make it.

I will forever be thankful for Zoey - she is my Miracle. Despite everything that I had to face -she is perfect. If I had to do it all again - I would.

I will never forget Baby B, it was a part of me. I will never get over it. It is in my foundation. I will never get past it - just grow from it. I will never forget my journey either, I will simply share my experience with the world - and hope that I can give a little of the strength and hope that was given to me.

Rainy Days = Rainbows

How cute is that hat?

So - we left the house early on this rainy Saturday and managed to get a trip to the park in before the buckets of of rain fell from the sky. Zoey just loves the park :) even though she is still small and it tires her out quickly- she really enjoys it.

This is a pic of the little princess at the park a few days ago :)

Isn't she getting so big. It's so hard to believe that in one week she will be 8 months old.

It seems like just yesterday that our journey towards parenthood began. It was such a long road that it isn't easily forgotten. Its amazing - all it takes is a remark or even hearing someone elses story and I can feel the emotions that I felt while sitting in the hospital baking zoey all over again.

Zoey was a miracle in every sense of the word, and we are reminded of that on a daily basis. She restored my faith when i had very little left. I let go- and let god lead me - and at the end he blessed me with her. I will never forget the journey even though it involved so much pain and sorrow because in the end we were blessed with an amazing little girl.

Wow - its been awhile

Sorry to have kept everyone waiting for an update for so long :) But - we have been so so busy.

Lets see - first we had EASTER. We started the morning off with church. Zoey loved how festive the service was with the singing and music. She fights to stay awake at church every week, and then always falls asleep during the last five minutes.

After Easter we had my sister Danielle, Will, and Carson arrive on Tuesday. I was so excited to see them since they haven't been to Jersey since my wedding ---- and I have only been to Florida once since then because I was busy trying to keep Zoey in the oven as long as possible - lol.

Thursday my brother, sister-in-law, Drew and baby Haley arrived. I was so excited to meet my new neice/goddaughter. We have been waiting to see her for so long. I also couldn't wait for Zoey to meet her baby cousin.

We had a very busy week with the Florida Family. :)

Sunday was Zoeys Baptism. The day really turned out beautiful. Her goddparents are Noah and Lisa (my brother and sister-in-law). It was a very joyous day. The deacon did a wonderful job, and many friends and family were present to witness the sacrament.

Tuesday all of the family departed, and we had to go straight to NYC. Zoey was doing her first catalog/advertisement spread for the United Colors of Benneton the following morning. We were super excited because thousands of babies were looked at for the job, and only 3 were chosen. She had so much fun and the pictures were absolutely amazing. I still can't believe how much they catered to her. Bennetons catalogs are more like brochures with all the babies getting full pages. Being an international company people from all over the world seemed to be helping with the shoot. The photographer was amazing - and now you can look for Zoey in the fall/winter ads and catalog. **** they show the catalog online on the website ****

Now - we are suffering through some horrible teething.

Thats all for now :) its a beautiful day and we are going to the park.